Para o lançamento oficial do “Blog da blague”, seria necessário um dia pra lá de especial, uma data marcante no calendário caboclo – algo mais do que os finais demenciais do BBB e menos do que a parada de 7 de setembro, do que uma sonolenta sessão de quinta-feira(féria) na câmara (de tortura mental) ou do senado (dos reis do gado), dando ares de feira à falsa empáfia dos defensores dos valores amorais e dos bons(quais?) costumes – não tão costumeiros nestas bandas de cá.
Nada melhor, no caso, do que a sexta-feira 13 de julho de 2007, dia em que todos estarão voltados para o início do PAN do Brasil...o “blog da blague” está lançado e...
salvar-se, quem poderá?...só o tempo dirá!
Total PANdemônio (deu PANe na Zona Sul, na Barra...etc)!!!
Estou esPANtado! Tudo começou com as PANatenéias da Grécia Antiga e até chegar nos dias de hoje lá se vão séculos...e séculos...e séculos...seculum seculorum...amém!
Pois chegou pra valer!
Valha-me Zeus! (e que viva o PANteísmo no PANteão...que baita confusão!).
Tá danado! Estou PANicado! É um tal de PAN por tudo que é lado – é o trânsito entalado...e a PANtomima das ‘otoridades’, a ansiedade do noivinho alferes que espera, com ânsias, a ‘noividade’ – quase que desmaia, o pobre!
Enquanto isso, o caos se instalou/se instaurou na cidade noviciada. Ela precisou ser maquiada às pressas com pancake de asfalto, pó de fuligem, batom laranja...e otras cositas más...dizem que a noiva quer casar virgem de novo, pode?
E olha que nem começaram ainda os PANegíricos...quando então os espertalhões de sempre, os ‘atretas’ de ocasião, os políticos e dirigentes deitarão (falação) e rolarão (no verde dos gramados, no azul das piscinas, nas pistas, ginásios e estádios) – que haja PAN para tanto circo!
Estou azucrinado com tanto atrapalho! Sim, porque eu trabalho! E para ir e voltar é um calvário! Tudo pelo ben(mal)dito PAN, pelo PANachê de paciência que nos fazem engolir como se fôssemos gansos para ‘foie-gras’. Estão mexendo demais com os meus sais, com o meu suco PANcreático, com o meu saco!
É uma caixa de PANdora, onde se instala uma imensa legião de sarados (melhor do que de tarados, muito embora uma coisa não anule a outra) num evento PANsocial e/ou até mesmo PANsexual, pois que entre quatro paredes, na Vila Olímpica, alguns jogos menos públicos (e sem venda de ingressos dominada por cambistas), certamente serão jogados pelos briosos concorrentes de todas as raças...PANcrianças poderão ser geradas, nascerão com corpinhos já modelados, fome voraz e o espírito olímpico, é claro!
Estou emPANzinado de tomar café da manhã, almoçar e jantar só ouvindo e lendo a palavra PAN – é tudo uma grande PANqueca. E tome PANfleto! Tudo se cura com esta PANacéia (pós-pós-pós atenéia)...ou degringola de vez, o que é mais provável.
Saudades dos tempos da PANair, da PANam? Nem isso! Vade retro PANdemônio!
Tomara que não haja PANcadaria, problemas com a PANelinha do Alemão (o Complexo, não o simplório garota-propaganda de tudo – com sua pinta de galã do cinema mudo...e surdo para não ter que ouví-lo).
Até cair o PANo, muita água (do suor dos competidores, dos técnicos, cartolas, dirigentes um pouco mais sérios e políticos – a seriedade para esta classe não é um dos mais cultuados atributos) ainda vai rolar.
Talvez no final eu até sinta falta das delícias PANescas - vias asfaltadas, faixas pintadas, policiamento ostensivo (em certas ruas da Zona Sul, uma viatura em cada esquina, estamos em pleno “Primeiro Mundo”, por que será que em outros tempos a gente andava sem nenhuma proteção?) tudo funcionando na cidade ‘made up’, o som tranqüilo da flauta de PAN (argh!) ecoando pela metrópole rediviva – pode ser até que continue, pero no lo creo – passados discursos, máquinas e premiações, restarão algumas medalhas nos peitos varonis e nós, novamente, expostos às agruras da cidade do Cara de Cão...destroçada, esburacada, suja, violenta, indefesa...que ainda não sucumbiu pela pacata natureza pujante...e olha que o mar tem planos...
Espero que eu resista até o fim, que não tenha ficado meio PANcada, senão totalmente PANPAN!!!
Por via das dúvidas (ou por dúvida das vias), fica aqui lavrado este registro, escrito em PAN, quero dizer SÃ consciência
Boa sorte para nós!!! Que os dias não nos sejam tão PANtagruélicos!
P.S.:
Já quanto à atitude pré-conceituosa (porque ele nem bem conceituou) do tal ‘foca’ PANaca norte-americano de sobrenome Neuendorf (êta nomezinho bom pra um neo-nazista!), penso que ele perdeu a oportunidade de se emPANturrar de feijoada, samba, caipirinha aqui no ‘Congo Brasa’ para depois voltar para a Sibéria ianque onde ele adora ficar hibernando a maior parte do ano, qual um pingüim de geladeira GE.
E olha, ô idiota, só para clarear suas idéias nefastas, foi lá no seu ‘sweet home of the brave’ que a seleção de basquete do Brasil (não a do Congo, bobalhão) deu um vareio no ‘invencível dream team’...hahahaha!
E cuidado!Não vá pro Congo confundir Brazzaville com Brasília - o pessoal lá tem menos paciência do que nós! Vai estudar, ô troglô – e, se possível, entrar para um bom curso de humor – mire-se no seu presidente, talvez seja um bom começo!
Só mais uma coisinha: tenho lá minhas dúvidas se o spray higienizador que você tinha na sua sala não era para atenuar seus flatos fedorentos decorrentes da péssima ‘fast food’ que vocês, ‘seres superiores’ vivem exportando, envenenando gente mundo afora – isto para não ir mais adiante e aventar a hipótese de você ter se borrado nas calças e não estar agüentando seu próprio cheiro...
Não há vaga para bestas no ‘blog da blague’ – você está fora, não tem graça nenhuma!!!
Tá vendo só?! É nisso que dá querer " tratar burro à PAN de ló"!!!
18 comentários:
Sergio!!!!
Como sempre ma-ra-vi-lho-so!!!!!!!!!!!! Inteligente e bem-humorado. Adorei!!! E concordo plenamente.
Parabens pelo texto.
beijaum
SERGINHO,
VOCÊ MEU DOCE PARCEIRO,É MESMO ESTUPENDO!!!
BEIJOSSS , MEL DE CANA
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